Thursday, November 25, 2010

I'm Coming Off My Meds!

No, it's not because I'm cured or because I don't think I need them. Because of reasons personal to me I will be making some changes. One of them is to step down off my OCD medication.

It seems like each time I tell someone new about this change I'm met with surprise! I understand. It's dramatic! Two years ago I accepted that I would need to be on medication forever. That may still be the case, but there are reasons why I want to try to go forward without them.

What makes this time different than every other time I've stopped taking medication is this time I fully recognize my need for the help they provide.

In the past when I've stopped taking my medication I mistakenly believed that I had gotten through the tough spots of my life. Things would be better. This time I realize this could be one of the toughest spots yet.

That's why I'll continue to attend my OCD GOAL group--religiously! I'll continue to seek the counsel of my friends there. (They might even see a more needy side of me they haven't seen while I was on medication!) I've also committed to regular appointments with my OCD therapist. I'll also probably need to read more OCD blogs. Finally, to battle the scrupulosity aspect of my OCD, my faith in God continues to grow, and I know my pastor and friends have my back.

...All this to say I'm fully prepared! I already know it will be worth the struggle. While it seems like I'm making a decision to go it alone, I will actually have more support than ever before.

Still, I ask that you keep me in your thoughts and prayers! : )

Friday, November 12, 2010

What I Learned from a Hypnotist

A hypnotist came to speak to our OCD GOAL group this week to address how hypnotism could be used to gain control of one's feelings and thoughts. Although what she had to say was a little too new-agey for me, I do agree with one's ability to affect one's physiology by working to gain control of one's runaway thoughts.

I didn't levitate, cluck like a chicken, or speak in tongues. At best one could call what I experienced "stumbling through a carefully scripted daydream." While the hypnotist described the ability to heal ourselves as having "all of the tools we need inside us," I really see it as having the capacity to improve the way we think.

She took us on a guided tour of our kitchens. She asked us to close our eyes and led us slowly through the motions of going to the fridge, taking out a lemon, slicing into it, and finally biting it. After we opened our eyes most of the people in the room described tasting the lemon, salivating, or feeling its sting pucker their lips. That was proof, she explained, that our bodies register everything our imaginations experience as if it actually were happening.

Do you see the direct application to OCD? When we worry that the worst is going to happen, it may as well have happened because our bodies don't know the difference. That's why it's so important to work on gaining control of what we do with our thoughts. If hypnotism can help us do that, if even only as proof that it's possible, so be it. As for me, I've gotten what I need to out of hypnotism already!